"The 'Great Divine Romance of Heaven' for Us & Its Frequent Neglect"

Ps. 116:5, NIRV

     The story of God’s search for us--God’s search to bring us Home to God’s loving heart (especially when we are lost, hurt, wayward, or willful)--can be thought of as a great divine romance.  Indeed, many of the old saints with a certain “genius”^[1] about the faith have thought of the faith in this way: they are responding to God’s loving search for us, God’s sacred romance.  We noted in an earlier post that Martin Luther was one who often expressed God’s search for us in this way^[2] (although regrettably for centuries after his followers largely neglected this aspect of his imagery^[3]).  

     Also note that God's great divine romance does not necessarily have 

to be expressed in language that is typically romantic in nature--

although Martin Luther certainly used the metaphor of the spiritual 

marriage, as had many before him.  This great Love Story 

can also be expressed in the language of the “mystical parent-child 

relationship” (a phrase from Deborah Smith Douglas).^[4]  And why 

might this “parent-child relationship” be called “mystical"?  

Because when one settles deeply into such relationship 

there is a love that flows back and forth that cannot 

be adequately explained and also a peace that passes 

understanding that defies language (see Phil. 4:7; Mt. 18:3).

     Julian of Norwich is someone who had a special genius for 

describing the wonders of this “parent-child relationship.”  

She speaks, for example, of God’s parenting love (father and 

mother imagery) “which never leaves us”--a love that 

embraces us.^[5]   She says: 

    [O]ur Lord showed me a spiritual sight of his homelike 

    loving.  I saw that he is all things good and comfortable 

    to us for our help.  He is our clothing, for love wraps us 

    and winds around us, hugs us and teaches us everything, 

    hangs about us--for tender love--so that he may never

    leave us.^[6]   

Julian describes an embrace that is closer, more profound, 

and more tenderly loving than any human embrace.

     Julian also says: “[T]enderly our Lord God toucheth us and blissfully 

calleth us, saying in our soul: Let be all thy love, my dearworthy child: turn 

thee to me—I am enough to [for] thee. . . .” ^[7]

     Or, using especially intimate metaphors, Julian says: 

“For as the body is clad in the cloth, and the flesh in the skin, and the bones in the flesh, and the heart in the whole, so are we, soul and body, clad in the Goodness of God, and enclosed.  Yea, and more homely: for all these may waste and wear away, but the Goodness of God is ever whole; and more near to us, without any likeness [or comparison]: for truly our [Divine] Lover desireth that our soul cleave to Him with all its might. ...”[8]     

     The coming of Jesus always holds a special place for those who speak of the great divine romance in Christian tradition.  Recently a pastor friend said that in Jesus’ coming it is as if God is saying to each of us: You are mine.  Upon hearing this we thought of those little valentine hearts that say “BE MINE!” etc. that were passed around in grade school every Valentine’s Day.  It could be said that Jesus is God’s Great Valentine to us—Love coming in person, intimately, materially, in the flesh, close, like-unto-us, incarnated, and promising never, ever to leave us (Mt. 28:20, 18:20).  Jesus is God’s Great Love Story—God’s sacred romance coming among us and staying forever spiritually.

     All this may sound wonderfully warm and fuzzy.  But the truth is that there is an arrow through the heart of this great sacred Valentine: the typical arrow of calling/wooing love but also the arrow of Godly pain.

     Peter Craigie writes: 

“When we say “God is love”, we must not say it too glibly, for that fundamental statement carries with it a necessary counterpart: “God is suffering”.  The love and the suffering are inextricably interrelated: God suffers [just] because he loves and because those whom he loves do not [always] return love.  And eventually, in the New Testament, we perceive the suffering of God reach a new climax in the death of Jesus Christ, where the suffering and love of God concurrently mark the countenance of Jesus.”[9] 

     Love is never easy.  In the end we all know that (parents know this, for example), and it makes sense that it should be the same for God/Jesus.  The Christian understanding is that in some mysterious way upon the cross Jesus takes the lostness and waywardness of the world upon his wide shepherding shoulders; he takes the burden himself so that we might be set free from anything that could/would come between us and God.  Jesus embodies God’s immense Grace and forgiveness, as well as eternal, abiding love (note 2 Cor. 5:19).

     Thus, in multiple ways--at various levels of understanding--we speak of a great divine romance.  Where do we find this imagery in Christian tradition?  Earlier we explored Martin Luther’s discussion of this as a spiritual marriage and also the fact that he retained this imagery as found in many voices of spiritual giants who had gone before him.^[10]  Also in our earlier post “Missing Sacred Tenderness and Missing Women’s Voices” we noted frequent use of this imagery.^[11]

     In more recent years Brent Curtis and John Eldredge have written an important book entitled The Sacred Romance: Drawing Closer to the Heart of God.  The authors trace some of the history of this terminology and also beautifully elaborate upon such imagery themselves.  (This book, an inspiration for us in the thoughts above and in the concept of God's sacred romance, is one 

we highly recommend.)

     Curtis and Eldredge write: 

“We … want love, the adventure of intimacy, and this is what God’s [loving] pursuit means….  God has pursued us from farther than space and longer ago than time.… God has had us in mind since before the Foundations of the World.  He loved us before the beginning of time, has come for us, and now calls us to journey toward him, with him, for the consummation of our love.” [12]    

     Curtis and Eldredge continue: “[O]ur own stories are interwoven with the great Romance God has been telling us since before the dawn of time. . . .  [W]e begin to see that each of us has a part in the cosmic love affair that was created specifically with us in mind.”  This is what we have (knowingly or unknowingly) “longed for, and been haunted by since we were children.”^[13]

     But unfortunately: "Most Christians have lost" track of this idea; "many of us never come to see this [God’s] wooing."^[14]

      “Who am I, really?” Curtis and Eldredge ask.  

The answer to that question is found in the answer to another: What is God’s heart toward me, or, how do I affect him?   If God is the Pursuer, the Ageless Romancer, the Lover, then there has to be a Beloved, one who is the Pursued.  This is our role in the story. ...  Someone has noticed, someone has taken the initiative.  There is nothing we need to do to keep it up, because his love for us is not based on what we’ve done, but who we are: His beloved.  ‘I belong to my lover, and his desire is for me’ (Song [of Solomon] 7:10).^[15]  (Note: all of this is also a sign of God’s GRACE.)

     Curtis and Eldredge quote G. K. Chesterton: “Romance is the deepest thing in life, romance is deeper even than reality.”^[16]

     Other authors offer a similar perspective.  These are authors with a deep understanding of words like those in Isaiah 43: “I [the Lord] have called you by your name; You are mine. . . . Because you are precious in my eyes, you are honored, and I love you” (v. 1, 4, CEB). 

For example, St. Bernard wrote a “masterpiece” on his view that the entire biblical book of The Song of Solomon can be seen as a “a sublime allegory on the love of God.”[17]  In other words, he saw this biblical book as a reflection of the great romance of Heaven that will not let us go!   (See other works reflecting similar views by Paul Sauer, Bengt Hoffman, S. J. Hill, and Joseph Chorpenning in our Notes.) 

     The frequent neglect of such imagery in favor of overly technical, rationalistic, left-brain-dominated explanations of God’s transactions with the soul cannot be entirely holistic—it leaves something of a hole in the heart.  As Bengt Hoffman writes: “[T]here are barriers built into western intellectual thought structures which render it difficult to grasp the intimate connection between the conceptual-doctrinal and the experiential” knowledge of God’s love and “God’s presence.”^[18] 

     We need to overcome these barriers.  We very much need to understand the “tender” side of God’s love that is best expressed by the great divine romance of Heaven for us.  Any love relationship that lacks the tender side has an element of unreality about it, and the same is true of our relationship with God.  However, as Curtis and Eldredge write, the divine love story, the sacred romance “is a story that is very hard to capture in propositions.”^[19]  And surely, this is one reason for its neglect.  Thus, we continue with the words of some of those who best describe this mystery—not in “propositions” but in the language of relationship and sometimes in poetic language. 

     Richard Rohr writes, “This dance between the Lover and the beloved is the psychology of the whole Bible, which we . . . see poetically described in the wonderful single book, the Song of Songs” (emphasis ours).^[20]   

     The saintly poet Mechthild of Magdeburg also understands this 

“psychology.”  She writes, “God has enough of all good things, save of 

[loving] union with the soul.”^[21]  (Hence, she sees that this is the 

one and only thing lacking for God.) 

     And Julian of Norwich says, “For soothly [in reality] I saw that 

we are that which He loveth. . . .”  And, “It is God’s will that I see 

myself as much bound [‘knit’] to Him in love . . . and thus should 

every soul think inwardly of its [Divine] Lover”^[22] (although 

remember that for Julian this imagery was most often expressed 

in what we have called the mystical parent-child relationship).

     Henri Nouwen (in his wonderful Life of the Beloved) weaves 

together a great deal of biblical imagery as he explains what we 

here call the great divine romance:

     Listening to that voice [the Holy Spirit] with great inner attentiveness, I hear at my center words that say: “I have called you by name, from the very beginning.  You are mine and I am yours.  You are my Beloved, on you my favor rests.  I have molded you in the depths of the earth and knitted you together in your mother’s womb.  I have carved you in the palms of my hands and hidden you in the shadow of my embrace.  I look at you with infinite tenderness and care for you with a care more intimate than that of a mother for her child.  I have counted every hair on your head and guided you at every step.  Wherever you go, I go with you, and wherever you rest, I keep watch.  I will give you food that will satisfy all your hunger and drink that will quench all your thirst.  I will not hide my face from you.  You know me as your own as I know you as my own.  You belong to me, I am your father, your mother, your brother, your sister, your lover, and your spouse ... wherever you are I will be.  Nothing will ever separate us.”^[23] 

(See Isa. 43:1, 49:15-16; Ps. 17:8, 121:4, 139:13, 145:15-16; Ez. 39:29; Lk. 12:7; Rom 8:38-39; Hos. 2:19-20; Mt. 25:6; Rev. 19:7; Jn. 5:18; Heb. 2:11 

for some verses to which Nouwen makes reference.)

     Nouwen also writes of our struggles to see and accept (or even 

note) such love: “[R]unning helter-skelter, always anxious and 

restless . . . [one is] never fully satisfied. . . .  Well, you and I 

don’t have to kill ourselves [searching].  We are the Beloved 

[of God].  We are intimately loved. . . . ”^[24]  

     Similarly, early founders of AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) wrote: "To

watch the eyes of men and women open with wonder as they move from

darkness into light, to see their lives … fill with new purpose and

meaning … and above all to watch these people awaken to the presence

of a loving God in their lives--these things are the substance of what we

receive as we carry A.A.’s message …" (Co-founders of AA, “12 & 12,”

Step Twelve, “The Twelve Steps”).

     St. Teresa of Avila also wants us to know about our intimate place in God’s heart.  She addresses her readers so simply: “O soul, beloved of God!”^[25] 

     And in one of his greatest poems George Herbert writes: “My God, what is a heart, / That thou shouldst it so eye, and wooe [woo] . . .” (“Mattens”).

     Evelyn Underhill writes about those old saints who have a certain 

genius for God and who often act as the prophetic “eyes of” the 

community.^[26]   And what is the greatest theme that those with such 

prophetic genius for God wish us to understand?  That “God is love” 

indeed! (1 Jn. 4:7-21).  That God has “knit” us in love to God’s very 

Self.  Those with a measure of genius for the faith have learned this 

over time.  

     In an “experiential”/“experimental” sense (quoting

Luther[27]), they have discovered this personally, as they

see such love in scripture and also (under the Spirit’s

leading) with the eyes of the soul: the “eyes of my eternity”

(Mechtild of Magdeburg).[28] 

     Moreover, they would tell us that life only makes sense

when we get first things first.  And what do we get first? 

That life can be filled with sacred tenderness: it is

a divine love story--the great divine romance of Heaven 

for us![29]  As we walk in faith we will learn this … over and

over again.  And we will also desire, and learn, to PASS

IT ON to others in need. [30]

     Recently we made reference to the prophet Hosea (see

our April post and also the final meditation in today's

post).[31]  Hosea actually lived out the great divine

romance.  In Hosea we read: “I [the Lord] will betroth

you to me forever; I will betroth you in righteousness

and justice, in love and compassion” (Hos. 2:19-20, NIV). 

Look back at the multiple references to Hosea in that

earlier post.  In the end this prophet’s very life can be

thought of as a prototype for the great divine romance

of Heaven for us.

    The prophet Isaiah, similarly, uses such imagery:

"[F]or the Lord will take delight in you. . . .  As a

young man marries a young woman, so will your Builder

[God 'who formed you'] marry you; as a bridegroom

rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you";

Isa. 62: 5-6, NIV (GNT).  (See similar themes in Isa. 54:5

and Jer. 31:32.)

And note the prophet Hosea once again: "And then

I’ll marry you for good--forever [says the Lord]!  I’ll

marry you true and proper, in love and tenderness. 

Yes, I’ll marry you and neither leave you nor let you go. 

You’ll know me, GOD, for who I really am ”; Hos. 2:19-20,

The Message paraphrase.

* ♡ *

We close with thought for meditation, prayer/poetry/proverbs:

Meditation upon the Great Divine Romance ... for you:

  “Travel in your memory & thought” is simply a way of speaking

of meditation upon this theme.  (For "eternal arms" and "lean"

see Deut. 33:27, CEB, GNT, NJB; Prov. 3:5, NIV, MEV, WEB.)

Corrie ten Boom: "Don't Wrestle; Just Nestle."

* * *                                 

"Knit" to God’s Heart (a meditation upon 1 Jn. 4:12, ASV

and some of Julian of Norwich's favorite imagery[32]):

***

From my personal journal (at a younger age, less 

seasoned in faith--upon receiving bad news):

Sometimes there's a nasty little voice inside me that says: “Nothing 

really good ever happens . . . to us!”

But then, if I listen long enough, there's another Voice that says: 

"I know the plans I have for you--plans for good and not for 

evil. . . .   I have called you: called you by name; You are 

Mine! . . . and I love you. . . . Look, I have carved your name 

in the psalms of My hands!"

     (With reflection upon Jer. 29:11; 1:5; Isa. 43:1-4, 49:16.)

                                                                            ***

This next meditation uses another common biblical image 

for the great divine romance of Heaven for us—the imagery 

of the Good Shepherd:

❅

The softest shades of pink and blue           

have painted the sun-falling sky.

And oh, my heart has melted

with the snow upon the eaves—

melted from my cares and anxieties,

when, at last, like a weary lamb on a precarious ledge,

I leapt to the Shepherd’s arms.

There he caught me and chuckled
and nuzzled His nose in my cloak.

I am surrounded by His mighty love--
caught up in His consummate caring
and know that just He is "needful"
for all the cares in the world.

Oh, "peace beyond all understanding"--
to hear the heartbeat of the Shepherd,
to nestle close to that heartbeat
for the "cares" . . . all "the cares of the world." 

 

    (With reflection upon Ps. 23; Jn. 10:11; Mk. 4:19; Phil. 4:7;

Lk. 10:42, RSV.)

(Note that "leapt to the Shepherd's arms" is another way of

speaking of of "Let go ... let God"--as is so wisely discussed by

AA and other "Twelve Step" groups.)

     St. Bernard: "His love for us is sweetly tender, and wise, 

and strong.  It showed itself tender ... in that it induced Him 

to assume our flesh" (Sermon XX on "The Song of Songs").

                                                                       ***

“‘Beloved’ Child in GRACE (a Meditation)” [33]  

     (With meditation upon 1 Kings 19:12; the “beloved” of Ps. 127:2,

108:6; Rom. 1:7, 9:25; Duet. 33:12, 1 Jn. 4:7, RSV; and Julian of

Norwich’s terms for our relationship with God.[34])

 * * *

     We said above that the great divine romance of Heaven for 

us might be expressed by the “mystical parent-child relationship,” 

just as well as other imagery.  The example from scripture that 

follows (Hosea 11:1-12, NRSV, NRSVCE [35]) might help us better

understand this.  In this meditation the “beloved” names--Israel,

Ephraim, and Judah--all stand for the children of God.  Or--when

we are encouraged to read prayerfully--for us!  Try substituting

your own name:

MEDITATION upon words of the Prophet Hosea, through

whom the Lord speaks (Hos. 11:1-12):

(Note: omissions in verses 1-12, designated by " ... " often

refer to the self-chosen "far country experience" of a

wayward people [similar to Lk. 15:11-24].  See this

discussed in another post.[36])

   ***

      (Note that heart-shaped meditations or prayers here, previously, 

and hereafter in this blog are offered to represent the "great divine 

romance of Heaven for us."[37])

***

 

(See additional blog posts after the “Notes”—Newer/Older Posts.)

………………………

Notes:

1. For discussion of such genius, see Evelyn Underhill, Mysticism (New York: Meridian

Books, 1955), pp. 104, 63, 65, 73, 279, 376, 467. (Note that Underhill is careful to

choose mystics who are mostly valued for their teaching--teaching long accepted in

Christian tradition.)

2. See “Martin Luther’s Neglected Tenderness”;
http://sacred-tenderness-christian-tradition.blogspot.com/2015/03/martin-luthers-neglected-tenderness.html

and "Martin Luther, the Reformation & God’s Tender Romance (Inclusion or Neglect?)”;

http://sacred-tenderness-christian-tradition.blogspot.com/2017/10/.

3. For recovery of this imagery see Paul Robert Sauer, “Mystical Marriage Renewal,”

Lutheran Forum, Spring, 2009, pp. 10-12; Bengt R. Hoffman, Luther and the Mystics

(Minneapolis: Augsburg, 1976), pp. 149-50, 155-9, 172-4, 177.  For the origins of loss

of Luther’s emphasis, see Hoffman, Luther and the Mystics, pp. 19, 237 (Note 2).

4. Deborah Smith Douglas, “George Herbert at Bemerton: ‘Thy Power and Love,

My Love and Trust,’” Weavings, May/June 1999, p. 23. See further thoughts about

Herbert's journey in: " Sacred Tenderness and Changed Lives";https://sacred-tenderness-christian-tradition.blogspot.com/2016/02/sacred-tenderness-and-changed-lives.html

5. Julian of Norwich: Showings, trans. Edmund Colledge, O.S.A. and James Walsh, S.J.

(New York: Paulist Press, 1978), pp. 293-297 (Chap. 58-60, Long Text of Revelations of

Divine Love).

6. Marcelle Thiébaux, The Writings of Medieval Women: An Anthology (New

York: Garland Pub., 1994), p. 449 (from Julian of Norwich, Revelations of

Divine Love, translating Chap. 4 of the Short Text).

7. Julian of Norwich, Revelations of Divine Love, ed. Grace Warrack (London:

Methuen & Co. Ltd., 1901, 1949), p. 74 (Chap. 36, Long Text).

8. Ibid., pp. 13-14 (Chap. 6, Long Text).           

9. Peter C. Craigie, Twelve Prophets, The Daily Study Bible Series (Louisville, KY:

Westminster John Knox Press, 1984), v. 1, p. 74.         

10. See Note 2 above.

11. See “Missing Sacred Tenderness and Missing Women’s Voices”;

http://sacred-tenderness-christian-tradition.blogspot.com/2015/03/missing-sacred-tenderness-and-missing.html.

12. Brent Curtis and John Eldredge, The Sacred Romance: Drawing Closer to the Heart

of God (Nashville: Thomas Nelson Pub., 1997), p. 97.  (Also see Note 29.)

13. Ibid., p. 10.

14. Ibid., pp. 10, 18.

15. Ibid., p. 98.

16. Ibid., p. 35.

17. Christopher Pramuk, “Sexuality, Spirituality and the Song of Songs,” America,
The Jesuit Review, Oct. 31, 2005 (see “St. Bernard’s Sermons on the Canticle of
Canticles”: Canticles being another name for the Song of Solomon or the Song of
Songs); www.americamagazine.org/issue/548/article/sexuality-spirituality-and-

song-songs. Also see Note 29, and as we saw previously Martin Luther respected

St. Bernard and retained some of his imagery; see https://sacred-tenderness-christian-tradition.blogspot.com/2015/03/martin-luthers-neglected-tenderness.html.

(We are aware that other theologians have a different views of the Song of

Solomon.  However, our questions would be, "Why does it always have to

be either/or?  Why couldn't it be both/and?)

18. Hoffman, Luther and the Mystics, p. 19.

19. Curtis and Eldredge, The Sacred Romance, p. 18.

20. Richard Rohr, Things Hidden (Cincinnati, OH: St. Anthony Messenger, 2008), p. 42.

21. Quoted in Alice Kemp-Welch, Of Six Mediæval Women (Williamstown, MA: Corner

House Pub., 1972), p. 77.

22. Julian of Norwich, Revelations of Divine Love, pp. 138, 163, (Chap. 57,

65, Long Text).

23. Henri J. M. Nouwen, Life of the Beloved (New York: Crossroad, 1992), pp. 36-37.

24. Ibid., p. 36.      

25. The Collected Works of St. Teresa of Avila, trans. Kieran Kavanaugh, O.C.D. and Otilio

Rodriguez, O.C.D. (Washington, DC: Institute of Carmelite Studies, 1976, 1980), Vol. 2, p. 254.

26. See Note 1 above.

27. Quoted in Hoffman, Luther and the Mystics, p. 15.

28. Quoted in Caroline Walker Bynum, Jesus as Mother: Studies in the Spirituality of the High

Middle Ages (Berkeley: University of California Press, 1982), p. 240.

29. In addition to the sacred romance [Note 12], we often refer to the great

divine romance of Heaven for us throughout this blog.  Here we are also

inspired by S. J. Hill, “The Divine Romance,” Chap. 2 of Enjoying God:

Experiencing the Love of Your Heavenly Father (Lake Mary, FL: Passio,

2012); and Joseph F. Chorpenning, O.S.F.S., The Divine Romance: Teresa

of Avila’s Narrative Theology (Chicago: Loyola University Press, 1992). 

(One can also look up classic works like St. Bernard and St. Teresa of

Avila’s meditations on the Song of Songs or Song of Solomon--note the

former's works were highly valued by Martin Luther and John Calvin.)

30. “PASS IT ON” (i.e., God’s LOVE): Hymn by Kurt Kaiser (1969).

31. "'Love First’ or ‘Law First’ (and God’s Tender Love)';

https://sacred-tenderness-christian-tradition.blogspot.com/2015/04/law-first-or-love-first-and-gods-tender.html

32. See Julian of Norwich, Revelations of Divine Love for

quoted imagery: for “bounden” see p. 61 (Ch. 30), p. 163 (Ch. 65, note);

for “knit” to God see pp. 129-130 (Ch. 53); pp. 138-139 (Ch. 57);

pp. 142-143 (Ch. 58), Long Text.  (And see p. 150, Ch. 60.)   For

enfolded see “enfolds,” Julian of Norwich: Showings, p. 183 (Ch. 5).

33. Meditations, prayer/poetry/proverbs and journaling by Lorraine B.

Eshleman. (Note that throughout this blog we often used shape forms--

e.g., a heart to represent the "great divine romance of Heaven for us,"

as introduced today. However, even though here we may borrow

an idea here from "shape poetry," we still consider most all shape

selections to be either meditations or prayers.)

34. See Note 32 above.  Also Julian of Norwich, Revelations of Divine Love,

pp. 159, 64-65, 170 (Chap. 63, 32, 68, Long Text).  Also Julian of Norwich:

Showings, pp. 235, 281 (Chap. 34, 52, Long Text).

35. Hosea 11:1-12, NRSV, NRSVCE (capitalization added to verse 12). 

Omissions in verses 1-12, designated by " ... " often refer to the self-chosen

"far country experience" (see Lk. 15:11-24) of a wayward people (see Note 36). 

Also note that there is great variance in translation of verse 12--so much

so that the Expanded Bible Translation (EXB) offers both of the usual

suggestions. The NRSV, NRSVCE which we've chosen here, is in accord

with the KJV, MEV, and CEB translations.

36. See discussion of a wayward people in a self-chosen "far country

experience": “The Tender ‘Love Song’ of God”;

https://sacred-tenderness-christian-tradition.blogspot.com/2017/02/the-tender-love-song-of-god.html

37. See Note 33 above.